we all have them
walls that prevent us
from having the connection to life we seek, want, and desire.
i have them, lots of them
and i use them to protect myself
from others getting too close to me.
when people meet me
most think i am pretty vulnerable and open
but that is because the walls i have hid behind
are not somewhere out there where others build their walls
but closer in, way closer in.
my walls protected me from intimacy
i have held those closest to me at bay
with monastic walls that keep me safe
and give me good reason to maintain them.
but there is no good reason to maintain walls
they separate me, isolate me, and keep me feeling alone
they are not monastic walls,
they are stories.
stories of pain and hurt and fear
that keep me disconnected.
i have hidden behind these walls for so long
that i don’t even know how life would be or look without them.
but i have a chance now to find out
and i am going to take it.
i have always said,
our troubles come when one core value we hold
is in opposition to another core value we hold
for me core value 1 = the monastic wall
and core value 2 = connection
the reason core value opposition lines and is so hard to resolve
is because with whatever decision we make,
we win something and lose something else.
and these are not insignificant wins and losses.
they are core value wins and losses.
to connect, i lose the protection of my monastery
to live behind my walls in my monastery, i lose connection.
core value conflict creates in me fluctuation in every moment
my decision is constantly changing.
one piece of Mosaic Immersion is something we call,
The Destination Practice.
a wise man once told me,
“if we do not know where we are going,
every road takes us there.
but if we know where we are going,
there are only a few available options.”
the walls of the monastery offer me connection to god,
and protect me from getting hurt by people.
the road to connection offers connection to the 4 connections of The Mosaic
self. source. purpose and others.
with The Destination Practice
i don’t need to know how to get where i am going
i simply enter my destination into the GPS of my human operating system
and just like a self driving car takes us where we want to go,
i can just sit back and relax and let The Destination Practice take me where i am going.
so it all comes down to what you want?
walls or connection?
choose your destination.